I’ve got news for you: you don’t have to accept it. Other people’s experiences don’t have to be your own. In fact, if you understand how sexual desire works, and acknowledge that you and your partner need to collaborate to keep its fires burning – you will be light years ahead of everyone else. Here’s the bottom line: being too idealistic or too pessimistic about desire is a huge waste of your time. It takes your attention away from one simple truth: you and your partner both have the power to create desire in your relationship. If you want to make it work, you need to claim this power.
I'm sorry you're going through this, it must be painful. I'm guessing your husband has resented you from the beginning because you got pregnant and he felt "trapped" into marriage. He's probably had one foot out the door the whole time. Like many men, he feels entitled to sexual gratification, and thinks you didn't live up to your part of the bargain, so he has an excuse for cheating.
Take turns washing each other's feet as you sit at opposite ends of the tub, massaging the toes, ankles and calves as you do. Use the soapy water to create an easy glide over your partner's skin. Continue on in this way exploring each other's bodies and focusing on relaxation and sensation. Watch each other's faces for clues and responses to each touch. Ask them if they are enjoying what you are doing or if there is something they would like you to try. Connect eye to eye for moments of intimacy and closeness. Watch the other's hands as they work their way over your body. Enjoy the totality of sensation, both visual and physical.
Ancient texts such as the Kama Sutra and the Tao detail the importance of breast massage to ensure a woman's health and satisfaction. One of the biggest mistakes men make in the bedroom is to ignore the breasts or to give them minimum attention.
"I meet a guy who I like. We are very attracted to each other - lots of great chemistry. It doesn't take long before he is pushing for sex, and I want to have sex too. But most of the time I don't hear from him again after having sex. Even if I wait a couple of months to have sex, this still happens. They seem so into me before sex and then completely lose interest after sex. I don't get it."
Sex toys combine two things we humans love most: sexual pleasure and fun! Today, the pleasure product industry grosses a whopping $15 billion annually, but a mere decade ago sex toys lived on the fringes, just starting to break through into the mainstream. Thanks to stores like Good Vibrations in the US or Ann Summers in the UK, with their clean, brightly lit locations and helpful, non-judgmental staff, consumers began thinking of sex toys as something normal and acceptable. The subsequent growth of the online sex toy industry, and the success of books and movies like the Fifty Shades of Grey series, further helped take away the stigma and offered the pleasure seeking client a whole new world of opportunities for sexy fun.